I take an AP Literature and Composition class, and it is BY FAR the hardest class I have. Not because I don't do well in English - believe me, I do - but because the teacher requires us to think. There have been many days where, after doing a journal or Socratic circle, I spent the rest of the day depressed or confused. She likes having us do self-assessments and what-not... It's practically a psychology class. And as much as I love the class, and the teacher... I don't know if I can handle doing this sort of psychoanalysis all the time.
Why is it so difficult for the human race to confront their feelings? I tried to start this blog to try and do that, yet I have difficulty even doing that for my GRADE. Maybe I should try to get myself figured out before I try to be all philosophical with whoever may be reading this. =/
Well... I'm signing out. Since I probably won't post for the next three days... Merry Christmas! And a Happy New Year! =]
-Courtney
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
Failed Experiment
Well, obviously, I'm not keeping up with this blog very well. However, that means I get to condense all the major points of importance into one blog.
1: I realized just how fragile life can be. A classmate of mine - barely a couple months older than me - had a heart attack in September, apparently caused by a seizure. We didn't know if he was going to make it. He was put in an induced hypothermic state and induced coma. However, he woke up and was warmed back up. Once a major athlete, he's very much frustrated that he can't do contact sports. He actually may not be cleared for swimming or running for awhile either. Every time I see him, though, I am amazed at how he continues on with his life, despite being so close to losing it. He's been incredibly strong, and although he doesn't know it, I still wonder how he's doing all the time.
On a fairly related note, I realized how stupid and selfish I've been in the past. I went through a period where I didn't want to live, I was unhappy... I just wanted it to all be over. (When I say period, I mean all throughout middle school and more than half my high school career.) Then... During homecoming week (less than two weeks after the heart attack mentioned above), our school was hit by another tragedy: a freshman killed himself. Although I never had the chance to know him as well as I wanted to, I am friends with his twin brother, and my heart aches for him often. And it made me realize that I love my life, and everyone in it, too much to let it all go. I especially couldn't handle it if I knew people were in pain because of me, the way they were because of him.
Caleb... I still think about you. Wish you were here. RIP.
3. Today, my chemistry teacher told the class he is going through a divorce because his wife is leaving him. He's a great person, so I don't understand. Well, okay, I kinda do... but here's why. This is what he told our class:
"Ladies. If and when you have a child... If you have a child, and within two years of it being born you have people tell you that they think you're depressed... LISTEN. Go talk to a professional. If they think you're fine, then let it go, but NOT before then. Gentlemen, if your woman is depressed, talk to her. Tell her so, but don't be mean. It [post-partum depression] is a disease, and needs treatment." He briefly explained what post-partum is, for the people who didn't already know, told us what was happening with his baby girl, then continued on with covalent bonding. So... I don't know who might be reading this, but I thought it was of importance.
Finally, on a fairly petty note (since I haven't journaled in forever and a day), I'm dating my best friend. It took me too long to discover that he was the guy that made me happiest... Even if he isn't the most sentimental or anything, he's still been the kind of guy that is impossible to be unhappy around. Anybody in the position I was in... If he's decent, he won't let you down. And chances are if you're that close, he's probably decent. =]
Well... There's my rant. Signing out!
-Courtney
1: I realized just how fragile life can be. A classmate of mine - barely a couple months older than me - had a heart attack in September, apparently caused by a seizure. We didn't know if he was going to make it. He was put in an induced hypothermic state and induced coma. However, he woke up and was warmed back up. Once a major athlete, he's very much frustrated that he can't do contact sports. He actually may not be cleared for swimming or running for awhile either. Every time I see him, though, I am amazed at how he continues on with his life, despite being so close to losing it. He's been incredibly strong, and although he doesn't know it, I still wonder how he's doing all the time.
On a fairly related note, I realized how stupid and selfish I've been in the past. I went through a period where I didn't want to live, I was unhappy... I just wanted it to all be over. (When I say period, I mean all throughout middle school and more than half my high school career.) Then... During homecoming week (less than two weeks after the heart attack mentioned above), our school was hit by another tragedy: a freshman killed himself. Although I never had the chance to know him as well as I wanted to, I am friends with his twin brother, and my heart aches for him often. And it made me realize that I love my life, and everyone in it, too much to let it all go. I especially couldn't handle it if I knew people were in pain because of me, the way they were because of him.
Caleb... I still think about you. Wish you were here. RIP.
3. Today, my chemistry teacher told the class he is going through a divorce because his wife is leaving him. He's a great person, so I don't understand. Well, okay, I kinda do... but here's why. This is what he told our class:
"Ladies. If and when you have a child... If you have a child, and within two years of it being born you have people tell you that they think you're depressed... LISTEN. Go talk to a professional. If they think you're fine, then let it go, but NOT before then. Gentlemen, if your woman is depressed, talk to her. Tell her so, but don't be mean. It [post-partum depression] is a disease, and needs treatment." He briefly explained what post-partum is, for the people who didn't already know, told us what was happening with his baby girl, then continued on with covalent bonding. So... I don't know who might be reading this, but I thought it was of importance.
Finally, on a fairly petty note (since I haven't journaled in forever and a day), I'm dating my best friend. It took me too long to discover that he was the guy that made me happiest... Even if he isn't the most sentimental or anything, he's still been the kind of guy that is impossible to be unhappy around. Anybody in the position I was in... If he's decent, he won't let you down. And chances are if you're that close, he's probably decent. =]
Well... There's my rant. Signing out!
-Courtney
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
A Fresh Start
In middle school, I started a blog. I kept up with it for awhile, but then my interests turned elsewhere, and I stopped having time for it. It got outdated, very fast. The last post I made was in February of 2009.
This is the first post of a different kind of blog. First and foremost, it is an experiment. I want to see how well I can keep up with it this time around. Second, this is my opportunity to have a fresh start. And third... Well, I've been inspired by another blog. brownstreeintheforest.blogspot.com is the site, if you want to see. It's humbled me, and made me realize how petty my former blogs were.
Well, on that note... Catch ya later. More blogs to come.
-CJ
Psalm 23:4 - Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for You are with me. Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
This is the first post of a different kind of blog. First and foremost, it is an experiment. I want to see how well I can keep up with it this time around. Second, this is my opportunity to have a fresh start. And third... Well, I've been inspired by another blog. brownstreeintheforest.blogspot.com is the site, if you want to see. It's humbled me, and made me realize how petty my former blogs were.
Well, on that note... Catch ya later. More blogs to come.
-CJ
Psalm 23:4 - Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for You are with me. Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
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